I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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