I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
