i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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