Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
