My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
