I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
