Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
