the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My vagina just recognized that song.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
