Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
