a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
