He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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