i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
