Kiss
Puke
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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