i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
