So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
