Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
