all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
