if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
