dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize