dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
