opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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