Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
