did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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