I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
