I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
