I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
How external is "for external use only"?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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