The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
