i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
