Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
