im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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