k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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