This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
