i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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