Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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