Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
