I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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