she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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