Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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