no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
