Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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