happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
