C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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