Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
