She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
