Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize