I just made out with a guy for $7.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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