we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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