called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
