some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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