Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize