Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the day after is always just damage control
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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