I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize