but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
