OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
