Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
