I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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