I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
