are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
