You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
