This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
